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Heya, how you doing? Thanks for taking the time to be here and read this! If you haven't read part one yet, scroll down and check it out. If you have, I hope you found it informative and accessible - let me know what you think in the comments.

Now, lets get to it!

Here are a few basic facts:

  • Plant family - lamiaceae aka mint family

  • Botanical name - lavandula angustifolia – meaning to wash and narrow-leaf

  • Best time to plant/sow - early spring time

  • Best time to pick - mid-summer through to late autumn/early winter. Hint: English lavender starts to slowly die after flowering

If you've ever worked with me before, you know I work holistically with herbs and plants. Not only are they true medicine but facilitators of our intentions and are our teachers.

Holistically, lavender teaches us to pause, breathe and simply be. It also reminds us we're human-BEINGS, not human-doers. In a male-identified world that encourages and praises productivity and externalism, it's easy to eschew anything related to or even appearing feminine.

In fact, this is taught to us via misogyny. Showing and connecting to emotions aside from anger is seen as a weakness. Taking a break and prioritising rest are seen laziness. Reclaiming your time is seen as selfish and entitled. Even going with the flow is seen and wishy-washy, not committed aka feminine, instead of flexible.


In part one, I briefly touched on how lavender helps slow down your breathing and the difference between your sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. Missed it? Read here.

Next time you get a moment - or even now as you read this - tune in and take note of where you are breathing. Is your chest or stomach rising? If it's your chest - unless you've been running or experiencing a genuine adrenaline/cortisol rush - then you're in your sympathetic state, thus sending signals to your brain saying you're stressed.

But don't take it personally! Remember what I said about living in male-identified society? Well that - without balance and grounding - creates an environment that puts us under stress.


If you can, get hold of some lavender, sniff it or rub between your fingers for an extra boost...and allow the aroma to work its holistic magic! If you want, actively take longer, slower breaths deep down into your stomach. Really fill those lungs up! This can be done anywhere so even better; I mostly do this at work or as I travel.

Bring yourself back to the present and take note of how you feel - emotionally and physically. Now go through these three questions:

  • Is there tension being held anywhere?

  • What did I get from that experience?

  • What do I need to feel more comfortable doing this more often?

The great thing about this is you already have the main tool: the ability to breathe!

If, like many other people, you did the exercise and realised you mostly breathe into your chest, you also realised how little you're actually relaxed. Which brings me to....


When I had the realisation that I've lived most of my life in fight/flight/freeze mode, I - quite honestly - felt sad. And robbed. Being in a state of trauma was taught and normalised to me.

Relaxation, rest and safety are our human rights. At the time of this realisation, I think I was on to my third Yoni steam. So still quite soon after my DV attack and experiencing panic and anxiety attacks. I was still so used to living in trauma that - even after feeling the incredibly relaxing affects of my first two Yoni steams - I was scared to take a deep breath. To really breathe .

Until I did.

And it opened up a whole new level of calm that I never thought was for me. Does that make sense? Like, I thought only rich, highly educated, upper-class people and Becki's could do it. Or anyone outside of that who was relaxing had earned it.

I know, I know.....

But that's about capitalism and early/childhood trauma work: they're designed to keep you from your power to create the life you want which requires stillness, peace, the ability to go within.

Anyway, back to the story. Not only did that sense of calm feel great, but true. And the best bit? It was all me...aided by the herbs of course. You see, my intention when I first started Yoni steaming was: to feel alive and capable again. I guess the herbs knew the assignment!

Remember part one and how lavender affects your body systems? That's all YOU! The label "female" comes with disconnecting us from our power from birth and us thinking we need to have earned or gain validation from someone else - normally male-identified i.e. religion, healthcare system, work, justice system - to be our most authentic selves.

I vowed in that very moment during my third steam, to reclaim my right to safety, calm and peace. It's been a very interesting journey which I'll share more on as these posts go by.


Tools such as Yoni steaming and holistic herbalism simply facilitate your journey.


I'd love to facilitate your journey - here are a few ways we can work together:

And since I've spoken so much about Yoni steaming in this post, why not buy reclaim your throne by buying your very own seat? Hand made by me of course!


I hope this read has been information, insightful and inspirational - comment below and let me know how you feel. Please share this with your loved one too! As a small business owner, even little gestures like that really help.

And look out for next week's post on part three - physical.

Until then...


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